Dry.

In his book “Dry,” author Augusten Burroughs details how he went through alcohol treatment at the behest of his employer. Of course, Burroughs didn’t feel he had a problem, but went anyway in order to retain his job.

When he got home from treatment, he was shocked to see that his apartment was filled with hundreds of empty Dewar’s bottles. Literally hundreds. He had been in the habit of drinking a full bottle each night, but never got around to discarding them. Even after a month of treatment, it took seeing that apartment full of empty booze bottles to truly impress upon him he had a serious problem.

Today I saw an apartment full of bottles.

It came in the form of a blog I posted yesterday. I won’t recount it here. Suffice it to say it was a piece that I considered to be funny, but numerous commenters wrote to say it wasn’t funny, it was mean. I didn’t see it that way. Then my wife read it, and in very diplomatic terms let me know it wasn’t funny. Rather, it was very, very angry.

You’re all aware I’ve been dealing with a lot of issues lately. Depression, religion, and now anger. I believe I have a lot to offer the world, particularly in the realm of humor, but it’s clear that until I’m able to let go of this palpable anger I feel during every waking moment, my ability to distinguish between what’s funny and what’s outright cruel will be seriously impeded.

One of my idols—perhaps my biggest idol—is Charles Schulz, the creator of Peanuts. Every biography and interview I read made it clear that up ‘til the day he died, Schulz internalized all the pain, anger, and depression he’d ever felt and he channeled it through his absolutely delightful comic strip. As several people correctly pointed out, I’m clearly internalizing a lot of pain, anger, and depression, but rather than let it out in a constructive, humorous, thoughtful manner I’ve resorted to lashing out.

They say the first step towards recovery is admitting you have a problem. So, I have a problem. Another step is making amends. I would therefore like to offer a heartfelt apology to anyone I shocked, offended, or criticized.

I’ve no idea what the rest of the steps are, but imagine I’ll find out as time goes by. In the meantime, I’ll try to ensure that future attempts at humor are actually funny rather than hurtful. I’m sorry that the heretofore entertaining Admin Worm blog has become a public forum in which to exorcize my personal demons. I wouldn’t blame any of you were you to find somewhere else to surf, because this is certainly rapidly losing its entertainment value, except in the rubbernecking sense.

So, there you have it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have bottles to throw away.