Column
This week's column is little more than a tweaked version of last week's rant about the murder in Uptown. I think it bears repeating.
MURDER
Recently a young tourist was gunned down near Calhoun Square in Minneapolis. Thieves demanded—and received—a woman’s purse. As an afterthought the miscreants put a bullet in the skull of the woman’s son before making their getaway, leaving the mother to helplessly cradle her boy as his limitless potential leaked from his head onto an Uptown sidewalk.
The victim’s body was scarcely cold before battle lines were drawn. Some folks favor the eye-for-an-eye strategy as a deterrent for future crimes. They want the perpetrators apprehended, flogged within an inch of their lives, revived, flogged again and then hung in the public square as an example. Again, “some” favor this plan; others feel its weak point is that it’s too merciful.
Meanwhile, some people are steering attention away from the victim and focusing instead on “understanding” the killers. One such person called a talk radio program and advocated “more social programs” in order to stop the cycle of violence. For instance, provide free movie theater admission to disadvantaged youth; the “Idle Hands are the Devil’s Tool” theory as it were.
Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Ryback is more concerned with secondhand smoke than he is firsthand bullets, therefore I would like to use my admittedly limited wisdom to present a multi-tiered solution to the growing problem of violence that plagues the city of Minneapolis. I have no degree in social science nor am I a licensed clinical psychologist. My sole qualification is that I have never robbed or shot anyone, so I hope that counts for something.
The first step towards not becoming a thug, thief and/or murderer—and it sounds terribly cliché—is education. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the perpetrators of the above-referenced crime are not members in good standing of Mensa. It’s unlikely that a couple of bioengineering students from the University of Minnesota decided to wrap up Spring Break by popping a cap in an unsuspecting tourist for pocket money. No, I’m guessing that the cowards in question never got beyond eighth grade and spell everything fonetically like the gangstaz and thugz glorified in hip hop culture which is, incidentally, an oxymoron.
Education is only part of the battle. The next step is putting those smarts to use for the good of society. Another hunch: The perpetrators of the Uptown robbery and murder were not 9-to-5 types who understand and appreciate the feeling of satisfaction after a day’s honest labor. They’re more likely accustomed to rousting themselves from bed around 4 p.m., loading their weapons in their debris-strewn public housing complex and then preying upon productive members of society for the remainder of the evening. The benefits aren’t much but the hours are good.
The final tier of my solution to Minneapolis’ problems is benevolence. When a person reaps the benefits of a free society—education and employment—I believe they can’t help but feel not just the desire, but perhaps an obligation, to “give something back.” None of the assailants were described as wearing caps with feathers—and the murder weapon was not a bow and arrow—therefore it appears that Robin Hood was not involved, so we can safely assume that the motive was self-serving rather than benevolent.
The sad irony is that every character trait listed above describes the murder victim to a tee. This was no thug, nor even an ordinary, working stiff just wanting to be left alone, though the loss of such an individual would have been tragedy enough. He was a college graduate working towards his PhD. His college dissertation could have led to amazing strides in the field of medicine. He was active in a program helping minority children learn science. He was the type of person who, by all accounts, would have given up any money he had on his person to help someone in need. In fact, as a starving college student he took a carload of supplies to victims of Hurricane Katrina. Yet his life was worth no more to his assailants than the unknown contents of a handbag.
This is the obligatory part of a column dealing with tragedy where the silver lining is customarily discussed. “If there is to be a positive outcome of this atrocity,” it would begin, “then those left behind need to carry on the victim’s legacy by (insert platitudes here).”
But that’s bull. The fact is the victim is worth nothing to us dead. I’m saddened and infuriated that a person who was part of the solution was gunned down in cold blood by a couple of barbarians who epitomize the problem. One of the “good guys” was murdered by thugs whose collective class, intelligence and value as human beings would fit in the victim’s pinky.
I don’t wish to “understand” such people, nor do I intend to mark the check box on my tax return donating a dollar to the “Movie admission for thugs” program. I’ve tried to temper my beliefs in recent days, attempting to find a suitable middle ground, but regarding this crime I have to side with the folks in the public hanging camp, with a little extra flogging thrown in for good measure. The perpetrators of this act are responsible not only for the life they wantonly snuffed out on an Uptown street, but for the hundreds of lives that will now be less enriched by the victim’s absence, and for the myriad citizens whose lives are threatened so long as animals in human form are allowed to prowl our streets.
MURDER
Recently a young tourist was gunned down near Calhoun Square in Minneapolis. Thieves demanded—and received—a woman’s purse. As an afterthought the miscreants put a bullet in the skull of the woman’s son before making their getaway, leaving the mother to helplessly cradle her boy as his limitless potential leaked from his head onto an Uptown sidewalk.
The victim’s body was scarcely cold before battle lines were drawn. Some folks favor the eye-for-an-eye strategy as a deterrent for future crimes. They want the perpetrators apprehended, flogged within an inch of their lives, revived, flogged again and then hung in the public square as an example. Again, “some” favor this plan; others feel its weak point is that it’s too merciful.
Meanwhile, some people are steering attention away from the victim and focusing instead on “understanding” the killers. One such person called a talk radio program and advocated “more social programs” in order to stop the cycle of violence. For instance, provide free movie theater admission to disadvantaged youth; the “Idle Hands are the Devil’s Tool” theory as it were.
Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Ryback is more concerned with secondhand smoke than he is firsthand bullets, therefore I would like to use my admittedly limited wisdom to present a multi-tiered solution to the growing problem of violence that plagues the city of Minneapolis. I have no degree in social science nor am I a licensed clinical psychologist. My sole qualification is that I have never robbed or shot anyone, so I hope that counts for something.
The first step towards not becoming a thug, thief and/or murderer—and it sounds terribly cliché—is education. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the perpetrators of the above-referenced crime are not members in good standing of Mensa. It’s unlikely that a couple of bioengineering students from the University of Minnesota decided to wrap up Spring Break by popping a cap in an unsuspecting tourist for pocket money. No, I’m guessing that the cowards in question never got beyond eighth grade and spell everything fonetically like the gangstaz and thugz glorified in hip hop culture which is, incidentally, an oxymoron.
Education is only part of the battle. The next step is putting those smarts to use for the good of society. Another hunch: The perpetrators of the Uptown robbery and murder were not 9-to-5 types who understand and appreciate the feeling of satisfaction after a day’s honest labor. They’re more likely accustomed to rousting themselves from bed around 4 p.m., loading their weapons in their debris-strewn public housing complex and then preying upon productive members of society for the remainder of the evening. The benefits aren’t much but the hours are good.
The final tier of my solution to Minneapolis’ problems is benevolence. When a person reaps the benefits of a free society—education and employment—I believe they can’t help but feel not just the desire, but perhaps an obligation, to “give something back.” None of the assailants were described as wearing caps with feathers—and the murder weapon was not a bow and arrow—therefore it appears that Robin Hood was not involved, so we can safely assume that the motive was self-serving rather than benevolent.
The sad irony is that every character trait listed above describes the murder victim to a tee. This was no thug, nor even an ordinary, working stiff just wanting to be left alone, though the loss of such an individual would have been tragedy enough. He was a college graduate working towards his PhD. His college dissertation could have led to amazing strides in the field of medicine. He was active in a program helping minority children learn science. He was the type of person who, by all accounts, would have given up any money he had on his person to help someone in need. In fact, as a starving college student he took a carload of supplies to victims of Hurricane Katrina. Yet his life was worth no more to his assailants than the unknown contents of a handbag.
This is the obligatory part of a column dealing with tragedy where the silver lining is customarily discussed. “If there is to be a positive outcome of this atrocity,” it would begin, “then those left behind need to carry on the victim’s legacy by (insert platitudes here).”
But that’s bull. The fact is the victim is worth nothing to us dead. I’m saddened and infuriated that a person who was part of the solution was gunned down in cold blood by a couple of barbarians who epitomize the problem. One of the “good guys” was murdered by thugs whose collective class, intelligence and value as human beings would fit in the victim’s pinky.
I don’t wish to “understand” such people, nor do I intend to mark the check box on my tax return donating a dollar to the “Movie admission for thugs” program. I’ve tried to temper my beliefs in recent days, attempting to find a suitable middle ground, but regarding this crime I have to side with the folks in the public hanging camp, with a little extra flogging thrown in for good measure. The perpetrators of this act are responsible not only for the life they wantonly snuffed out on an Uptown street, but for the hundreds of lives that will now be less enriched by the victim’s absence, and for the myriad citizens whose lives are threatened so long as animals in human form are allowed to prowl our streets.
posted by Admin Worm at 11:40 AM
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