Watch out.
KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES
Well, to contrast yesterday’s syrupy-sweet post, today I’m in a surly mood so be forewarned.
ABOUT LAST NIGHT
Well, okay. Today’s first subject is actually good news. As I reported last week, my good pal Jules (a Heather Graham look-alike) and I have designated Monday nights as our weekly foray into the Twin Cities’ arts and entertainment scene.
Last night we patronized a local hole-in-the-wall coffee house in downtown St. Paul. How long this place will exist remains to be seen; it’s in a building which is loft-worthy, and as we all know it’s crucially important that every fucking square foot of downtown St. Paul be converted to lofts immediately.
Anyway, not many people attended; I counted 15 at one point. We were accepted more than I thought we would be, given we were “outsiders” and were therefore viewed with a bit of a wary/skeptical eye when we first arrived. It quickly became a community of sorts, however. We enjoyed various essays and poems, and one young man read a portion of a monologue he’s writing which I found particularly intriguing since the monologue route is one I’ve considered.
I summoned the courage to read a portion of the “Finding a Public Restroom in Minneapolis” essay I mentioned last week and it was received well. The big surprise of the evening, however, was when Julie read a poem she wrote. I know Julie well, but I must confess I had no idea she was a poet, nor that she possesses the kahunas to read in front of a group of strangers.
All in all a wonderful evening. Next Monday is Halloween, therefore Tom and Jules’ Most Excellent Adventure will be on hiatus, but our next foray is on the docket for Monday, November 7.
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
This morning it was graphically illustrated yet again why I’ve given up politics. In Public Speaking class, the teacher picked an arbitrary speech subject: global warming. He further narrowed down the topic by saying a student could give a speech on whether or not global warming causes hurricanes. Note that the point wasn’t to engender a political discussion; it was merely to point us in the right direction towards choosing speech topics. However, the classroom quickly split into global warming believers and non-believers.
The instructor bravely said something to the effect of “I don’t care what your views on global warming are; I just draw the line at people blaming the president for hurricanes. If you believe that the president was responsible for Hurricane Katrina, you are insane.”
A 19-year old tattooed, pierced young lady shouted “But he did!”
Yes, this young lady—of legal, voting age—firmly believes that the President of the United States, George Bush, caused a hurricane.
That’s why I’ve had mental constipation at the school paper for going on two months. That's why I couldn't muster a 700-word political column if you had a gun to my fucking head. Because no amount of reasoning or facts can sway the mind of someone who is utterly ignorant.
I am no advocate of a poll tax, but I do think that election judges should periodically put their own ear to the ear of a random voter, and if they can hear the ocean, that person cannot vote.
ROSA PARKS
Rosa Parks, civil rights pioneer, died at age 92.
Parks, if you’ll recall, refused to give up her seat on the bus to a white person, and is therefore universally seen as an icon of the civil rights movement.
Rosa Parks was one person who made a decision based on principle and thus changed the world.
Please remember that the next time you consider belittling someone for voting Libertarian.
KIDS
What the hell is the deal with people having kids, anyway?
This morning I was in Starbucks and a young mother, oozing moxie from every pore, stood in front of me in line. While she ordered her Venti low-fat mocha half-caf with an add-shot and low-cal whipped cream, her two young sons—who admittedly were otherwise very well-behaved—nonetheless stood at the cooler and touched every single item contained therein. At this moment, people are purchasing sandwiches, juices and yogurts at the Eagan Starbuck’s that have been touched by snotty little fingers. Just thought you should know.
PRUSSIAN BLUE 
Click this link.This was all over the news yesterday, but I really think you should devote a moment or two to this site. This is a 13-year old twin sister duo and they sing “white power” music.
I hope there’s a special place in hell for anyone who raises their children this way. They’re not only brainwashing their children into hate, but they’re sexualizing them at age 13. Adoption standards are so stringent that Americans have to go overseas to find children, but every piece of white trash in the country has the right to squeeze a pup any time they feel like it.
EVOLUTION UPDATE
The current edition of the New Yorker contains yet another lengthy story about evolution. It seems that every other issue is hell-bent on further convincing the Intelligentsia that there’s no place for Intelligent Design or Creationism when the fossil record clearly indicates that evolution is 100% gospel. None of the stories have, as yet, explained where that big chunk of shit that exploded in the Big Bang came from, but this is apparently a minor detail.
Here's a thought. Many evolutionists cite imperfections in the human body that belie the possibility of Intelligent Design; the gall bladder, the appendix, various impractical functions, etc. “If there truly were a designer,” they reason, “then said designer would never have created such imperfect, impractical creatures as human beings.”
However, doesn’t the Theory of Evolution, with its tenets of Survival of the Fittest and Natural Selection, also dictate that such impractical features shouldn't exist? What purpose could there possibly be for evolution to leave us with an appendix, a gall bladder, or a little toe?
As I said, just a thought. I would never dream of arguing against something as clearly demonstrated as evolution and the lack of a God.
ONE-LINERS.
Bono could solve the world hunger problem by teaching people to be full of themselves.
How come by the time people say “To make a long story short…” it’s already way too fucking late?
It’s ironic that one of the Jackson’s is Germane but none of them are relevant.
If a tree fell on a member of Greenpeace, would they appreciate the irony?
DAMMIT
Today I brought more of that soup that I raved about yesterday, and thus far I’ve bitten into two chicken bones the size of drumsticks. Dammit.
THE WHITE HOUSE
Cindy Sheehan is threatening to tie herself to the White House in protest. I vote she ties herself to a fucking railroad track.
Speaking of the White House, the news is abuzz over whatever the fuck this most recent scandal is all about. I wish I were more informed, but my head swims when trying to comprehend it all.
And by the way, Rush Limbaugh is into his second hour of defending the White House, comparing the current scandal (or non-scandal, in his opinion) to the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. He’s currently contrasting degrees of perjury. Clinton’s perjury: bad. Republican perjury: a-okay. And if you disagree with my assessment of today's Limbaugh show, let me head off any heated comment exchanges with a big old middle finger:
I don’t know if there’s any teeth to these accusations, but you’d better fucking well bet that if any Republican did anything untoward, I want their goddamned heads to roll, just as I would if a Democrat were in the White House. Yet another reason I fully intend to wipe my fanny with my election ballot in November 2008 and flush it down the toilet by voting Libertarian.
Well, to contrast yesterday’s syrupy-sweet post, today I’m in a surly mood so be forewarned.
ABOUT LAST NIGHTWell, okay. Today’s first subject is actually good news. As I reported last week, my good pal Jules (a Heather Graham look-alike) and I have designated Monday nights as our weekly foray into the Twin Cities’ arts and entertainment scene.
Last night we patronized a local hole-in-the-wall coffee house in downtown St. Paul. How long this place will exist remains to be seen; it’s in a building which is loft-worthy, and as we all know it’s crucially important that every fucking square foot of downtown St. Paul be converted to lofts immediately.
Anyway, not many people attended; I counted 15 at one point. We were accepted more than I thought we would be, given we were “outsiders” and were therefore viewed with a bit of a wary/skeptical eye when we first arrived. It quickly became a community of sorts, however. We enjoyed various essays and poems, and one young man read a portion of a monologue he’s writing which I found particularly intriguing since the monologue route is one I’ve considered.
I summoned the courage to read a portion of the “Finding a Public Restroom in Minneapolis” essay I mentioned last week and it was received well. The big surprise of the evening, however, was when Julie read a poem she wrote. I know Julie well, but I must confess I had no idea she was a poet, nor that she possesses the kahunas to read in front of a group of strangers.
All in all a wonderful evening. Next Monday is Halloween, therefore Tom and Jules’ Most Excellent Adventure will be on hiatus, but our next foray is on the docket for Monday, November 7.
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
This morning it was graphically illustrated yet again why I’ve given up politics. In Public Speaking class, the teacher picked an arbitrary speech subject: global warming. He further narrowed down the topic by saying a student could give a speech on whether or not global warming causes hurricanes. Note that the point wasn’t to engender a political discussion; it was merely to point us in the right direction towards choosing speech topics. However, the classroom quickly split into global warming believers and non-believers.
The instructor bravely said something to the effect of “I don’t care what your views on global warming are; I just draw the line at people blaming the president for hurricanes. If you believe that the president was responsible for Hurricane Katrina, you are insane.”
A 19-year old tattooed, pierced young lady shouted “But he did!”
Yes, this young lady—of legal, voting age—firmly believes that the President of the United States, George Bush, caused a hurricane.
That’s why I’ve had mental constipation at the school paper for going on two months. That's why I couldn't muster a 700-word political column if you had a gun to my fucking head. Because no amount of reasoning or facts can sway the mind of someone who is utterly ignorant.
I am no advocate of a poll tax, but I do think that election judges should periodically put their own ear to the ear of a random voter, and if they can hear the ocean, that person cannot vote.
ROSA PARKSRosa Parks, civil rights pioneer, died at age 92.
Parks, if you’ll recall, refused to give up her seat on the bus to a white person, and is therefore universally seen as an icon of the civil rights movement.
Rosa Parks was one person who made a decision based on principle and thus changed the world.
Please remember that the next time you consider belittling someone for voting Libertarian.
KIDS
What the hell is the deal with people having kids, anyway?
This morning I was in Starbucks and a young mother, oozing moxie from every pore, stood in front of me in line. While she ordered her Venti low-fat mocha half-caf with an add-shot and low-cal whipped cream, her two young sons—who admittedly were otherwise very well-behaved—nonetheless stood at the cooler and touched every single item contained therein. At this moment, people are purchasing sandwiches, juices and yogurts at the Eagan Starbuck’s that have been touched by snotty little fingers. Just thought you should know.
PRUSSIAN BLUE 
Click this link.This was all over the news yesterday, but I really think you should devote a moment or two to this site. This is a 13-year old twin sister duo and they sing “white power” music.
I hope there’s a special place in hell for anyone who raises their children this way. They’re not only brainwashing their children into hate, but they’re sexualizing them at age 13. Adoption standards are so stringent that Americans have to go overseas to find children, but every piece of white trash in the country has the right to squeeze a pup any time they feel like it.
EVOLUTION UPDATEThe current edition of the New Yorker contains yet another lengthy story about evolution. It seems that every other issue is hell-bent on further convincing the Intelligentsia that there’s no place for Intelligent Design or Creationism when the fossil record clearly indicates that evolution is 100% gospel. None of the stories have, as yet, explained where that big chunk of shit that exploded in the Big Bang came from, but this is apparently a minor detail.
Here's a thought. Many evolutionists cite imperfections in the human body that belie the possibility of Intelligent Design; the gall bladder, the appendix, various impractical functions, etc. “If there truly were a designer,” they reason, “then said designer would never have created such imperfect, impractical creatures as human beings.”
However, doesn’t the Theory of Evolution, with its tenets of Survival of the Fittest and Natural Selection, also dictate that such impractical features shouldn't exist? What purpose could there possibly be for evolution to leave us with an appendix, a gall bladder, or a little toe?
As I said, just a thought. I would never dream of arguing against something as clearly demonstrated as evolution and the lack of a God.
ONE-LINERS.
Bono could solve the world hunger problem by teaching people to be full of themselves.
How come by the time people say “To make a long story short…” it’s already way too fucking late?
It’s ironic that one of the Jackson’s is Germane but none of them are relevant.
If a tree fell on a member of Greenpeace, would they appreciate the irony?
DAMMIT
Today I brought more of that soup that I raved about yesterday, and thus far I’ve bitten into two chicken bones the size of drumsticks. Dammit.
THE WHITE HOUSE
Cindy Sheehan is threatening to tie herself to the White House in protest. I vote she ties herself to a fucking railroad track.
Speaking of the White House, the news is abuzz over whatever the fuck this most recent scandal is all about. I wish I were more informed, but my head swims when trying to comprehend it all.
And by the way, Rush Limbaugh is into his second hour of defending the White House, comparing the current scandal (or non-scandal, in his opinion) to the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. He’s currently contrasting degrees of perjury. Clinton’s perjury: bad. Republican perjury: a-okay. And if you disagree with my assessment of today's Limbaugh show, let me head off any heated comment exchanges with a big old middle finger:
I don’t know if there’s any teeth to these accusations, but you’d better fucking well bet that if any Republican did anything untoward, I want their goddamned heads to roll, just as I would if a Democrat were in the White House. Yet another reason I fully intend to wipe my fanny with my election ballot in November 2008 and flush it down the toilet by voting Libertarian.
posted by Admin Worm at 11:46 AM
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