Q & A.

Leab at Ironic Teachings posted his answers to the following and I couldn't help but follow suit. I find things like this fascinating. They're a great way to get to know others, and yourself for that matter.

Your name spelled backwards. Mot.

Where were your parents born? Wow. I think my dad was born in West Virginia and my mom in Lincoln, Nebraska. I’m such a good son.

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Besides voluminous amounts of pornography which I (hopefully) deleted from my history before the wife logged on, it was a picture of a person falling from the World Trade Centers used for Sunday’s Who’s News.

What is your favorite restaurant? It depends on my mood. If I want to feel comforted, I go to the Modern in Minneapolis when it’s snowing outside. If I want to know I won’t leave disappointed, Café Latte in St. Paul. If I want the best fast-food in the world, Chipotle.

Last time you swam in a pool? My God, it was several years ago when I lived in a condo in Stillwater. It was a gorgeous indoor pool, but one night as I swam I thought of the other residents—the fact that the majority were elderly retirees, many of whom brought their grandchildren to swim—and the germaphobe in me won out. I’ll never swim again.

Have you ever been in a school play? Never. Was too shy.

How many kids do you want? This might get me in Dutch with the wife, but I have to say at this point zero. I actually had a vasectomy 10 years ago in June but have since considered reversal or adoption, but as time goes by I become more and more convinced that parenthood is not for me. Or for the kid(s) for that matter.

Type of music you dislike most? The English language doesn’t have adequate words to express my utter disdain for rap and hip-hop.

Are you registered to vote? No, I always procrastinate and register at the polling place. It’s never so busy that it’s inconvenient, tragically.

Do you have cable? Funny story. We’ve lived here for a year and recently moved the television to the other side of the living room. We plugged the set into the cable jack to see if it improved our reception (we previously used rabbit ears) and lo and behold: We have cable. And I’ve discovered in the subsequent two weeks that now, rather than nine channels of crap, we now have 60 channels of crap. Though it is nice to finally be able to watch the Daily Show on Comedy Central.

Have you ever ridden on a moped? Never.

Ever prank call anybody? Probably. I do vividly recall my friend Tim and I ordering a pizza for my neighbors and we sat on my picnic table and watched the delivery guy knock on their door. After several minutes of conversation with the driver, to our utter surprise my neighbor wound up buying the pizza. I’m still scratching my head over that one.

Ever get a parking ticket? Yes. My last two parking tickets occurred on my birthday one year apart. One parking, one speeding.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? No. I have a tremendous fear of flying and heights. Plus, though I’ve long professed to entertain suicidal thoughts, tempting fate for a short-lived thrill just doesn’t make sense.

Farthest place you ever traveled? What’s further from the Twin Cities: New York City or San Francisco? Either way, I’m utterly pathetic.

Do you have a garden? I have a townhome, so no.

What's your favorite comic strip? I think Dilbert is the most consistently funny. Get Fuzzy is the best when it’s “on,” which isn’t near enough. The Boondocks consistently makes me laugh out loud. I read Peanuts for nostalgia’s sake. The Family Circus needs to die an immediate and painful death.

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? My ancestors are French, so I believe the words are “Don’t shoot, we give up.”

Best movie you've seen in the past month? Crash was good.

Favorite pizza topping? Mushrooms.

Chips or popcorn? Salt and vinegar kettle chips. I can eat a whole bag no problem.

What color lipstick do you usually wear? Whatever my wife is wearing, the location varies depending upon her mood.

Have you ever smoked peanut shells? I’m not even sure what that means.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? Yes, until security escorted me out.

Orange Juice or apple? Orange.

Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? My wife. We went to Savories Bistro in Stillwater, the most romantic place in the world unless you get stuck with the table overlooking the gas station across the street. That was a really dumb zoning move on Stillwater’s part.

Favorite type chocolate bar? Snickers. No question.

When was the last time you voted at the polls? The 2004 presidential election.

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? I don’t eat tomatoes.

Have you ever won a trophy? Yes, I won many trophies as a child performing in piano competitions.

Are you a good cook? I’m by no means a chef, but I like to cook and believe I’m getting better all the time. I love cooking. If I’ve had a stressful, long day at work and school, somehow I can always manage to spend an hour or more in the kitchen. That’s not work to me. It’s so satisfying doing something that results in such a wonderful finished product.

Do you know how to pump your own gas? These days, who doesn’t? Come to think of it, a surprising number of people don’t given the innumerable times I’ve heard a voice say “Go ahead on pump nine” through the crappy Super America intercom system.

Ever order an article from an infomercial? Oh Lord, no.

Sprite or 7-up? Makes no neither mind to me. I only buy it when my tummy is upset, so price dictates the choice.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yes. I worked at “Pizza by the Slice” just out of high school and wore a green polyester apron, beret and bow tie. There was something unsettling about working near a 500-degree oven in a highly-flammable outfit.

Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Prescriptions.

Ever throw up in public? No.

Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? True love, of course. Money comes and goes, true love is presumably forever.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Maybe not “love,” but I believe it’s possible to get a feeling that communicates that something special could happen.

Have you ever called a 1-900 number? If we’re talking sex lines, I’ve called the numbers in the back of City Pages that give “free samples,” and of course they weren’t terribly alluring. Just a husky-voiced recording asking for my credit card number so that an overweight mother of six pretending to be a barely-18 college coed could tell me she’s been a bad girl.

Can exes be friends? Yes, but only ‘til you meet the next future-ex.

Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My friend Amy when she had her baby a year ago.

Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Probably more than I have now.

What message is on your answering machine? Hi, this is Tom, leave a message and I’ll call you back.

What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? I’ve never really been a fan. I didn’t watch it in its heyday and find it to be brutally unwatchable now.

What was the name of your first pet? The one I remember is “Mother,” my family’s cat who died at age 22. I grew from five years old to 27 during that cat’s life; she was like my little sister.

What is in your wallet? Six dollars, a check card, several library cards, a Juut Salon gift card, my car insurance card, two movie rental cards and my driver’s license. The picture holder broke, so it’s time to get a new wallet.

Favorite thing to do before bedtime? Read. I'm currently muddling through "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" by William Shirer.

What is one thing you are grateful for today? That it’s the last day of school ‘til Saturday so I have time to rest and recuperate.