Monday, shmonday.

Hi, kids.

Boy, I got nothin' here.

Well, I got somethin', but nothin' blog-worthy. Truth be told, I've been writing like a mother f-er, but everything I've come up with recently has proven to be good fodder for my newspaper columns. I hate to post them before they've been re-worked to as close to perfection as the written word can get.

Sure, there's crap in the news capturing my attention, but I have nothing to add. You want politics, check out the Exile. You want a hot conservative babe, check out Stacy. You want good, old-fashioned intellectual rambling, check out Leab. You want Natalie Portman, check THIS out.

GARRISON KEILLOR
My wife and I saw Garrison Keillor at a St. Paul Restaurant on Saturday night. I may write a column about it.

Regular Admin Worm readers know I'm no fan of Mr. Keillor for any number of reasons, but I must say that seeing him in the flesh, so to speak, was very interesting. I imagine my feelings were akin to what I might experience were I to meet Hillary Clinton. "Oh my God, I can't stand you, can I have your autograph?"

He's tall, very tall, very quiet, and avoided eye contact, and I'm assuming the latter is to prevent a chance encounter with a rube. He looks a bit disheveled yet I must say possess an air of dignity. He commands respect.

As much as I disagree with his politics, and much as I lose sleep over the possibiliy that even one penny of my tax money goes to grow his empire, I nonetheless found it fascinating and humbling to be in the presence of someone who through blood, sweat, and tears is fulfilling his dream. A childish part of me secretly hoped that one day someone would see me that way, but that they would have the courage to approach me. Rube or not, I'd love to speak to them.

DOOR DINGS
So this morning I'm sitting in my truck before school, and a car pulls up beside me. Two young ladies get out, and the one on the passenger side swung her door open very hard, smashing it into my truck. She registered no acknowledgement of the incident; in fact, she took her sweet time collecting her personal effects. When she went to shut her door, she looked at the "contact" point, then into my glaring eyes. She gave me a sheepish smile and a slight wave, which I acknowledged with a titular smile.

Over the weekend I saw a Cadillac with so many door dings it looked like it had endured a hail storm lying on it's side. My wife's pride and joy, her brand-new Mini Cooper, already has several dings and scrapes, despite her best efforts to park far away from other cars.

This is just another glaring illustration of how our society is plummeting irreversibly towards complete doom. People have zero respect for other people's property.

Just kidding. Wanted you to think I'd lost my mind again!