Are you ready for some football?
Forgive a brief foray back into the world of politics, at least to a degree.
Non-Minnesota residents may not know the absolute mess that characterizes our state budget. Last year saw an unprecedented government shutdown while legislators of all parties argued like petulant children over whose pet projects would be funded at the expense of working folks like me.
Now, certain legislators are calling for a special session to be called by the governor. For what purpose, you may ask? To discuss plans to build three—yes, I said three—sports stadiums. One for the Minnesota Gophers football team, one for the Minnesota Twins, and one for the Minnesota Vikings. Hmmmmm….let’s take a look at each of these institutions individually.
MINNESOTA GOPHERS
First, the Minnesota Gophers. The official U of M sports website states the following:
From 1924 to 1982, Memorial Stadium provided thousands of Minnesotans with the excitement of Big Ten, campus football.
The question in my mind is, of course, if Memorial Stadium was such a godsend, why did you tear it down in the first place? You had your chance, the U of M campus is a palace already, and if this wanton spending keeps up tuition will soon be $500 per credit hour. Let the alumnus, with their cardigans tossed jauntily over their shoulders, whip out their checkbooks and pay for Memorial Stadium II.
MINNESOTA TWINS
The Twins just finished a particularly abysmal season, even for them. For the first time in ages, they didn’t make the playoffs. So, it stands to reason that the legislature would leap into action in order to build them (and their billionaire owner, Carl Pohlad) a stadium. Stadium supporters claim that the Metrodome is no place for baseball. “Bring back Met Stadium!” they cry. Well, Met Stadium was torn down to build the Mall of America, and the Metrodome was heralded as the greatest thing since sliced bread. And may I remind dome detractors that when the Twins won the World Series in 1987 and 1991, they were playing in the Metrodome?
If Carl Pohlad—billionaire Carl Pohlad—and his players (average yearly salary of professional baseball players is $2,555,476 ) want a new stadium, they can pony up the dough.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS
So much to say, so little time.
The Vikings alone are reason enough to make me call my legislators and say “Special session NOW.” New owner Ziggy Wilf wasted no time in holding taxpayers hostage for a new, palatial stadium. After all, a group of millionaires needs a suitably extravagant location to display their talents.
Their talents have thus far garnered them an impressive 1 and 3 record this season, by the way. Go Vikes!
When that special session is held, the following story needs to be cited in detail:
Football Players: what wonderful role models!
What you’ll discover is that several Minnesota Vikings chartered a boat on Lake Minnetonka, and the cruise became a condensed version of Sodom and Gomorrah, complete with drinking, drugs, lap dances, prostitutes, and sex acts. Some highlights:
Minnesota residents, I give you a homework assignment which I intend to perform myself. Contact your legislator. Demand an immediate special session. Insist that your representative read the aforementioned news story in full view of their peers and the media. Then see if they have the audacity to still believe that one cent of public money should go towards funding—or even debating—sports stadiums for spoiled, amoral, barbaric Cro-magnons.
LINKS
Find your Minnesota Legislator
Contact Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty
Non-Minnesota residents may not know the absolute mess that characterizes our state budget. Last year saw an unprecedented government shutdown while legislators of all parties argued like petulant children over whose pet projects would be funded at the expense of working folks like me.
Now, certain legislators are calling for a special session to be called by the governor. For what purpose, you may ask? To discuss plans to build three—yes, I said three—sports stadiums. One for the Minnesota Gophers football team, one for the Minnesota Twins, and one for the Minnesota Vikings. Hmmmmm….let’s take a look at each of these institutions individually.
MINNESOTA GOPHERSFirst, the Minnesota Gophers. The official U of M sports website states the following:
From 1924 to 1982, Memorial Stadium provided thousands of Minnesotans with the excitement of Big Ten, campus football.
The question in my mind is, of course, if Memorial Stadium was such a godsend, why did you tear it down in the first place? You had your chance, the U of M campus is a palace already, and if this wanton spending keeps up tuition will soon be $500 per credit hour. Let the alumnus, with their cardigans tossed jauntily over their shoulders, whip out their checkbooks and pay for Memorial Stadium II.
MINNESOTA TWINSThe Twins just finished a particularly abysmal season, even for them. For the first time in ages, they didn’t make the playoffs. So, it stands to reason that the legislature would leap into action in order to build them (and their billionaire owner, Carl Pohlad) a stadium. Stadium supporters claim that the Metrodome is no place for baseball. “Bring back Met Stadium!” they cry. Well, Met Stadium was torn down to build the Mall of America, and the Metrodome was heralded as the greatest thing since sliced bread. And may I remind dome detractors that when the Twins won the World Series in 1987 and 1991, they were playing in the Metrodome?
If Carl Pohlad—billionaire Carl Pohlad—and his players (average yearly salary of professional baseball players is $2,555,476 ) want a new stadium, they can pony up the dough.
MINNESOTA VIKINGSSo much to say, so little time.
The Vikings alone are reason enough to make me call my legislators and say “Special session NOW.” New owner Ziggy Wilf wasted no time in holding taxpayers hostage for a new, palatial stadium. After all, a group of millionaires needs a suitably extravagant location to display their talents.
Their talents have thus far garnered them an impressive 1 and 3 record this season, by the way. Go Vikes!
When that special session is held, the following story needs to be cited in detail:
Football Players: what wonderful role models!
What you’ll discover is that several Minnesota Vikings chartered a boat on Lake Minnetonka, and the cruise became a condensed version of Sodom and Gomorrah, complete with drinking, drugs, lap dances, prostitutes, and sex acts. Some highlights:
- A woman called Mound police Thursday night to report “possible prostitution, drugs and live sex acts” on the two boats.
- “Some of the Vikings are yelling at the waters and waitresses… and wanting drinks faster and trying to take over parts of the bar…”
- “There are people doing sexual acts with toys in the middle of the floor.”
- We’re talking about a scene with used condoms on the boats laying around…drinks thrown and poured in places.
Minnesota residents, I give you a homework assignment which I intend to perform myself. Contact your legislator. Demand an immediate special session. Insist that your representative read the aforementioned news story in full view of their peers and the media. Then see if they have the audacity to still believe that one cent of public money should go towards funding—or even debating—sports stadiums for spoiled, amoral, barbaric Cro-magnons.
LINKS
Find your Minnesota Legislator
Contact Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty
posted by Admin Worm at 6:55 AM
<< Home